Thursday, August 18, 2011

Last blog post

Dear Faithful Blogging Readers,

I have decided to terminate my service from the Peace Corps.  I know this may come as a shock to many of you and possibly a disappointment.  My decision was not made without considerable thought and contemplation on the issue as well as a heavy heart.  Over the past month that I have officially been at my permanent site, I have severely struggled with the realities of isolation and homesickness.  Furthermore, in talking with my village, there seemed little to accomplish and make sustainable improved healthy living habits.  My decision came down to either spending the next two years very miserable, homesick, bored, and needing the company of family and friends or deciding to terminate my service now with the possibility of regret.   In the end the former seemed a greater evil.  In coming to this decision over the past few weeks, I became aware that even the smallest and most insignificant things were causing me to overreact and be very negative about others and my situation.  As anyone who knows me will attest, I am not like that and I do not want to be like that at all.  Thankfully I realized that in order to grow and advance my life, I needed to come home.  I will say humorously, that it felt strikingly odd to be standing in the shallows of the ocean on a white sandy beach on a beautiful sunny day in Fiji nonetheless, being very unhappy.  It was definitely something you do not hear every day.  As a great friend of mine said, “There are no mistakes in life, there are only opportunities to learn”.

I do not have any regrets about doing the Peace Corps.  In fact, I am so proud that on May 15th, I boarded that plane, boarded another plane to Fiji, got through training which was sometimes stressful, and became a Peace Corps Volunteer.  If I never left Boise, I would always wonder “what if” and I am so glad and proud of myself that I do not have to wonder anymore.  I do hope the best for my village and I know there has been meaningful progress.  However, I must take care of myself before I can help and take care of others. 

In conclusion, I cannot thank all of you enough for your amazing support of me these past few months.  Every time I got a comment or a Facebook message, my day truly brightened.  I also would like everyone to know that I encourage you to ask me about my experience, because although I am no longer a Volunteer, I would be glad to share this beautiful but often hidden culture with anyone who is interested.  I look forward to seeing all of you soon.  Please do not be a stranger. 

Thank you all again so incredibly much.  Ni sa Moce, ka Vinavaka Vinaka Vakalevu.

Domona (Love),



Ben